How God works

In the last few weeks and days I have learned more about myself through the eyes of God. The 4th through the 9th I was on a ladies retreat with my peeps/ homies/ ladies from church. We went whitewater rafting which was not as scary as I thought as well as rock climbing. The day I was going to conquer that rock was the day I learned I have MORE healing to do. During this time while at the facility we did a great study "FaceDown" by Matt Redman and videos by Joe G. (I won't attempt to spell his last name) which also made me realize, the reason I was there.

I have always been a hard, strong and tough person (at least those were my thoughts) but the day of the rock climbing I was shown different. God opened my eyes to realize that one, its okay to hurt. This rock climbing meant to me conquering what I have gone through in my childhood, the sexual abuse, the poor choices I made and my final "getting over it". As I looked for the spots in the rock to place my finger tips; was like depending on myself to deal with this pain I have and not the rock which in turn meant giving to God. The more I searched the less I found spots, then I had to start from square one and it seemed like hours to me but I know it was minutes. In one of the pictures my hands are midway and up because I couldn't anymore. Two, God said that it's okay not to be strong and I am His child and He is my Father. Three, even though I have a tough time admitting to myself that I had to give up because I simply couldn't, God whispered that I was not giving up and I was starting. This is where my healing begins!!!!! When I repelled from the rock I left my fears, worries, weakness at the top and on the first step off the rock I took! Along with continued healing, I also learned to let go and JUST GO!!!!!! (I will update with pictures later)

That weekend was one of the best ones I have had in a really long time. I was able to think, spend time with God and myself , laughed (a LOT), cried and spoke out to others about who I am. My journey with God has been amazing the last 2 years, words are not enough to express how His love has been for my family and me. The ladies I have met on this journey has been WONDERFUL and like I have said before, they were placed in my life for a reason and its to help through this healing process which I thought I had it down..... Thank you Lord for everything in my life, good and bad!