Okay where do I continue from the first post.... Oh yes, I was sexually abused from the age of 8-13, which are hard years on a girl (if you ask me). This is the point in a young girls life where you grow out of the "baby" items and into more girlie things. I still played with Barbies and my friends in the neighborhood but it was a tough and a "long" 5 years for me. (and the years to follow were even longer) To my knowledge my mother was not aware of what was occuring but I did ask myself, does she know? Can she tell? Will she be mad at me? What will she do? So for those five years I did not say anything to anyone because I didn't know what I should do. You may ask why not? Honestly, now there is more awareness then back then and also my family was the type that cared about image. How could that happen in our family! (Now I know that image is nothing and that everyone has some type of disfunctional family issues) Through this time I was shy/ timid and to myself. I spent many hours in my room watching tv or listening to the radio and day dreaming of anything to escape my "world". I don't really remember too many friends but do remember my cousins whom I grew up with, and now they are more like my siblings then cousins. Even then I did not tell them because I was embrassed and afriad of what they might say. (I know the difference now and have talks to my daughters about not holding back and just speaking, being free with their words towards us).

I felt I couldn't go to my father because he lived in Puerto Rico while we lived in Florida. Plus, he was busy with his "ladies" and enjoying his life. We never had a close relationship and it wasn't until Sept of 1997 that we started having a closer relationship. I finally told my father one day what happend to me and I think it was in 1992 or 1993. I had the chance to live with him for about 6 months, due to my poor choices in guys (whole another chapter in my life which I will expose on a later time). I expected more from my father then the way he racted, (I have blocked a lot out of my mind from this time) so I believe he called my mother and not sure what she told him since she had the tendency to be a lair about the situation. Regardless I felt good because my father knew and now he could protect me. So I thought!